Gratitude is the intention to count your blessings every day, every minute, while avoiding, whenever possible, the belief that you need or deserve different circumstances. (Timothy Miller) Trying to maintain an attitude of gratitude is very hard for me. I start out all sparkly and loving and full of thanks, but gradually I sink down into old resentments and self-pity. Why should I be so grateful? Don't I deserve more? More abundance? More fame? More success? More pats on the back?
What do rich and famous people have that I don't have, besides money and fame? Why can't I just snap my fingers and have all that I need, all that I truly deserve?
Is it possible to feel blessed and resentful at the same time? I think so. Perhaps it is higher self and lower self battling it out. My ego says I deserve more, but my inner self says I have all that I need right now to be a fully enlightened being.
Let go, let it go, let it be, let me be. Enough of the ruminations and self pity. Life is good and I am perfect just the way I am and I am good and I am life and I am grateful for each breath I take.
This is the battle of my life. I hope this new year will see me become the truly powerful, loving, grateful being that I know I can be. Medicine Woman. Om Shanti.
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2 comments:
I have finally taken the time to sit down and read your musings. You are truly a wise woman, Sara. The words you write are so full of vigor and wisdom, even when you are feeling conflicted and confused. That's one thing that I love about you...you don't hold back but you bring it in a way that everyone can walk away with something from it. If we can only open our eyes and ears we can learn so much from eachother.
Thank you, Wise Woman, for giving me much to think about.
Thanks, Aimee. I am just a pilgim on the path to somewhere. Goddess willing I will arrrive in one piece, full of peace. :) Namaste, Sara
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