Children Learn When They're Ready

Recently I was with my grandchildren at the school playground across the street from my house. Crystal (6) and Jordan (4) rode their bikes over and were tearing around the basketball area. Jordan was riding his tricycle and I tried to encourage him to use his pedals instead of pushing it around with his feet on the ground. He would comply while I was watching, but soon go back to zooming around by pushing the bike with his feet on the ground. I had to admit he could go a lot faster his way, but I thought it was important for him to learn to ride the bike the "right" way. He disagreed.

Crystal meanwhile was riding all over the place on her two-wheeler, but she still had her training wheels on. I watched her taking sharp corners and pedaling very fast and decided it might be a good time for her to learn how to ride without the training wheels. "Would you like me to take off the training wheels?" I asked her. "I could go home and get a wrench."

"OK," she said.

I ran back home across the street, came right back over with a wrench and proceeded to take off the traning wheels as the kids both watched. "OK, Crystal, get on the bike and I'll hold it for you," I said. "I want to be sure your seat is high enough."

She shook her head "no".

"No? Why not? Just get on the bike and I'll hold it for you. I won't let go."

"Hm-mmm (no). " she shook her head again.

"You don't want to ride without your training wheels?" I asked. "Are you sure?"

She nodded her head "yes".

"Do you want me to put your training wheels back on?"

Again she nodded "yes". So I did. She started riding again and I was left to ponder what had just happened. She had taught me something. What, exactly, was it?

She was willing to let me remove the training wheels, but she was not ready to actually get on the bike and try to ride. Perhaps the process of removing the wheels showed her the possibility. Perhaps it was scary for her looking at the bike minus its little wheels. Perhps she was just not ready to try to ride without them.

Now my question is this: should I wait until she tells me she wants to try and ride without the training wheels? Should I ask her from time to time? And what about Jordan? Does he absolutely have to learn how to use his pedals? How does this child-centered learning actually work?

I read in my favorite magazine, Life Learning, that when we completely trust our children, they will learn what they need to learn when they need to learn it. I believe this yet at the same time it totally blows my mind. Totally.

More of Saralee Sky's articles appear in her free online parenting neswletter, Nutsense, on her website: http://www.babynut.com.